We’re All Sharon Needles
Ru Paul really pissed me off last week. With all the anticipation for the season finale destroyed by making us wait another week to announce the winner, I was ready to punch her eyelashed lights out. But I have to give Ru Paul credit for making the show better every season and for single-handedly saving the Logo Network. (No other shows on Logo are even watchable.)
As you all know by now, Sharon Needles was crowned the winner last night, and though it was a close race, she’s clearly the right choice. Ru Paul and the producers of the show, World Of Wonder, come from the New York underground club kid scene. Sharon Needles is the one closest to that aesthetic.
At the end of last week’s show, I thought that Chad Michaels might have a shot. But he didn’t actually win many weekly challenges and always kinda stayed under the radar. It’s called understated elegance but that doesn’t necessarily translate to a crown. Chad Michaels was a class act the whole time, didn’t make one mistake, always had a variety of very different looks (which actually worked against him), but at the end of the day, he didn’t fit into Ru Paul’s crowd.
Phi Phi also came from a different peer group. His form of drag is more the gowns-and-crowns variety, the mainstay of the girls who enter pageants. Chad Michaels is more like a Vegas act or the one-man show tradition of Jim Bailey or Charles Pierce. Neither would make any waves in the New York club scene where Ru Paul cut his teeth.
Latrice Fucking Royale was awarded Miss Congeniality, which I don’t recall them ever offering as an award before, but she truly deserved it. Latrice was the Den Mother and the voice of reason throughout the season. Early in the season, I thought she might win, but she fell short in some areas. But she, too, comes from a different drag tradition, and girls from the South have a different approach to drag. Gay bars in the South actually present entertainment and put on a show, and a few of the drag queens can actually make a living doing it. It’s quite different than the drag scene in New York, LA or San Francisco.
Sharon Needles, though hailing from Pittsburgh, PA, comes from a club kid tradition that was influenced by people like Michael Alig and the New York club scene. It makes sense that Ru would choose someone to represent “the business” Ru Paul has created. Besides having the look, Sharon Needles has a quick wit, he’s honest, and extremely talented in ways that always surprise. Sharon Needles is not the first drag queen to do a goth look, but he does it really well.
Don’t Dream It, Be It
Barry Bostwick Shows Up In Drag At Rocky Horror Screening
Barry Bostwick Shows Up In Drag At Rocky Horror Screening
Last night a gang of us went to see “Rocky Horror Picture Show” at the Castro Theatre, and though it does sound sort of lame or over-done, this event was quite special. Not only has it been 20 years since the film has shown at the Castro, but the special guest was Barry Bostwick, aka Brad Majors, aka ASSHOLE!
Peaches Christ was the hostess, and along with presenting a couple of big production numbers before the show, she also served as interviewer of Barry Bostwick. In a surprise move that shocked even Peaches Christ, 67 year old Barry Bostwick came out on stage in fishnets, high heels, corset and wig! We were all flabbergasted, including Peaches, who had to re-shuffle most of his interview questions, which were no doubt aimed at teasing him about drag. When he actually showed up in drag, it ruined half her planned jokes! And then to prove he’s no shrinking violet, Bostwick laid down on the floor raising one (still very shapely) fish-netted leg straight up in the air to re-create his signature pose from the movie! Everyone was shocked beyond belief.
To be honest, I kinda had the feeling Barry Bostwick might have been a no-show. I always thought he tried to distance himself from being connected with the movie in order to be thought of as more of a serious actor, so I was surprised to see him announced as making an appearance. I kinda thought he might back out at the last minute when he found out how gay the event would be. How wrong could I be? Not only did he show up, he showed up in drag, and his responses to the interview were more twisted and humorous than anyone would ever have expected.
Barry Bostwick Shows Up In Drag At Rocky Horror Screening
But the surprises didn’t end there! At the last minute, Peaches was informed that another celebrity was in the audience who had also portrayed Brad Majors on Broadway. It was none other than Beverly Hills 90210′s Luke Perry! Like Peaches said afterward, “OMG, I used to jerk off to Luke Perry!”
Other trivia I learned about Barry Bostwick is that he originated the role of Danny Zuko in the Broadway production of “Grease” 1971, and he was born right here in San Mateo.
It was nice to see “Rocky Horror Picture Show” again on the big screen. Though I’ve seen it a zillion times, there are so many subtle things going on in the background, you always see something new. Looking back at the film as a cultural phenomenon, I saw it back in 1978, when the concept of yelling at the screen was still new. At that time, midnight screenings hadn’t started yet, people weren’t showing up in costume yet, and there were only a few “catch phrases” that people yelled during the movie. More importantly, at that time it really was shocking to see a guy in drag on screen. I had a hard time believing what I saw. And the scene of Frank N Furter lusting over Rocky during “In Just 7 Days I Can Make You A Man”, got me all tingly. I had never seen that kind of male on male lust portrayed on film before. Remember, there was no home video yet in 1978, and I had only ever seen about 10 minutes of an actual hardcore gay porn movie before.
Peaches had the most prolific quote of the night.
“For me, ‘Rocky Horror’ was my ‘It Gets Better’ video.”
JANET: "I don't like a man with too many muscles." FRANK N FURTER: "I didn't make him for YOU!"
Feedback About Gay Porn Stars In Drag
Gay Porn Star Josh West Poses In Drag. Turn-on, turn-off or just plain lame?
I got this email feedback about my recent shoot with gay porn star Josh West:
Josh West is quite the hunk, but dressing him up in a Madonna type 80's corset makes one want to barf. It's not attraction but a REAL BIG turn off! Instead of attracting people you are pushing them away.
I understand where he is coming from, and I realize I am taking a big risk with this kind of experimentation. But there are a million gay porn scenes shot every day and it's really hard to distinguish yourself from every other fucking porn site out there. People have become so jaded about everything in pop culture, especially adult media, it's impossible to shock anyone anymore. We've seen it all.
If you'll notice, I am not only challenging the idea of kind of fashion makes a man sexy, but I am also tweaking the Religious Right with sacrilegious images as well. I can't WAIT for feedback from the krazy kkkristians!
Keeping in mind that seeing sexy, manly men in drag is possibly a turn-off, I've taken the precaution to put the more masculine shots in the VIP Room of Muscle Bear Cub, and kept the more controversial photos for Lavender Lounge. If you are a VIP Member, you get access to both.
Please leave your comments below.
JOIN VINTAGE BAREBACK, LAVENDER LOUNGE, OR MUSCLE BEAR CUB
AND GET FULL ACCESS TO ALL THREE SITES
Saviour Soul – March 5
I did the poster for this and Lavender Lounge is a sponsor.
Saviour Soul - a monthly club at the Powerhouse in San Francisco by Anna Conda and Sister Mary Ralph. Next event is Saturday, March 5, 4-8 pm. Drink Specials, raffle, Jello Shots and outrageous drag show!
Justin Bond On Global Warning
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Another video clip from Justin Bond's Valentine's Day Show at the Castro Theater. In this clip he talks about Global Warming - "I don't give a shit."
I agree with him when he makes the point, if you're worried about your children's future, quit having so many babies!
Justin Bond Command Performance at Castro Theater
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The one & only Justin Bond performed to a loving audience of over 1000 on Valentine's Day 2010 at San Francisco's Castro Theatre. "I'll Never Fall In Love Again" was the 2nd Act opener of the Carpenters tribute show "Marc Huestis Presents JUSTIN BOND: CLOSE TO YOU. " The band was under the musical direction of Lance Horne, (also on keyboards) with Ben Prince on 2nd keyboard, Peter Fogel on guitar, Matt Aranoff on bass, David Finch on trombone & strings, Evan Francis on flute, Niel Levonius on trumpet, Matt Swindells on drums, & Julie Garnye on back-up vocals. Sound by Randall Schiller Productions. Videography by Mark Kliem (yours truly!), Jeff Dinnell & Marc Huestis. Edited by Marc Huestis.
And yes, I did the close-up camera on stage right. As you'll notice, my camera was the only one that got the colors right! (His dress is supposed to be pink, not gold.) Though I missed all the activities surrounding Bear Week, going to that show turned out to be like a high school (emphasis on "high") reunion with all my club kid friends from the 1990's.
After the show, the Sisters sainted Justin Bond at the VIP reception, and the first thing Justin wrote on Facebook the next day was "... it was the greatest honor of my life."
I ducked out of the reception early and met friends next door at the Twin Peak bar. Lo and behold an hour later Justin Bond held court right next to us at the bar! It was nice to catch up with him, and we may have a little project in the works when he returns to San Francisco in a few weeks!
Ru Paul’s Drag Race Takes Over Logo
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I really enjoyed the premier of the second season of Ru Paul's Drag Race last night. You can tell the show was a success because they've upgraded the studio, made a larger stage and it overall "feels" like a bigger show. Even the work room looks like an actual studio of some sort and not just a garage.
Ru Paul has stolen so much from Project Runway, and with the lackluster finalists from the last season of that show, I think Ru Paul is really more likely to strike a home run. Why do people watch either show? For the drama and the fabulousness. Talk about drama! In the "Untucked" portion that followed the main show, those queens backstage were dishing each other to dirt, and even figuring out who they think are the hottest as boys, too.
The classic line from "Untucked" would have to be, "I am gonna fuck you up! Bitch, I am from Chicago!"
Enjoy the video above made by some desk jockey wannabe queens that work at Logo. Apparently, Ru Paul is the burst of excitement that network has been hoping for. And in my opinion, everything you loved about Project Runway is done better and funnier on Drag Race.
They also brought in Chris March from Project Runway to comment , but he didn't have much to say. Coincidentally, I just got his book this weekend, too. Come to find out there are a lot of photos of a deceased friend, Michael Benbrook, who also worked with Chris March at Beach Blanket Babylon.
Edward Gory Emulated At Edwardian Ball
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Fans of gothic cartoonist Edward Gorey created fancy dress ball years ago to celebrate the unique imagery that's hard to describe unless you see it. The "Edwardian Ball" is not so much about style of British royalty of the early 20th century, but more about the imaginary world of an eccentric artist, Ed Gorey.
Who the hell is Ed Gorey? Gorey has become an iconic figure in the Goth subculture. Events themed on his works and decorated in his characteristic style are common in the more Victorian-styled elements of the subculture, notably the costumed Edwardian costume balls held annually in San Francisco and Los Angeles, which include performances based on his works. The "Edwardian" in this case refers less to the Edwardian period of history than to Gorey himself, whose characters are depicted as wearing fashion styles ranging from those of the mid-19th century to the 1930s.
He might be best known for the opening titles of the PBS series Mystery! is based on Gorey's art, in an animated sequence. (Oh, now I know who he is!)
I attended the Ball with a group of more fashion-forward Sisters and the event was awesome. Though upon entry I was inform by security that photos would only be allowed withOUT flash, I managed to create over 100 art pieces of my own. They are currently available for viewing by VIP Members of Lavender Lounge and
Vintage Bareback. (Join one site, and passwords work for both.)
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Fans of gothic cartoonist Edward Gorey created fancy dress ball years ago to celebrate the unique imagery that's hard to describe unless you see it. The "Edwardian Ball" is not so much about style of British royalty of the early 20th century, but more about the imaginary world of an eccentric artist, Ed Gorey.
Who the hell is Ed Gorey? Gorey has become an iconic figure in the Goth subculture. Events themed on his works and decorated in his characteristic style are common in the more Victorian-styled elements of the subculture, notably the costumed Edwardian costume balls held annually in San Francisco and Los Angeles, which include performances based on his works. The "Edwardian" in this case refers less to the Edwardian period of history than to Gorey himself, whose characters are depicted as wearing fashion styles ranging from those of the mid-19th century to the 1930s.
He might be best known for the opening titles of the PBS series Mystery! is based on Gorey's art, in an animated sequence. (Oh, now I know who he is!)
I attended the Ball with a group of more fashion-forward Sisters and the event was awesome. Though upon entry I was inform by security that photos would only be allowed withOUT flash, I managed to create over 100 art pieces of my own. They are currently available for viewing by VIP Members of Lavender Lounge and Vintage Bareback. (Join one site, and passwords work for both.)
CLICK HERE FOR MEMBERS ONLY GALLERY
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Cockettes At MOMA
Last night I attended the Cockettes 40th Anniversary screening of their three films, "Palace", "Tricia's Wedding" and "Elevator Girls In Bondage" at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I own a copy of "Elevator Girls In Bondage" but I had never seen either of the others. I was there mostly because it's an important step culturally for the drugged out, crazy drag theater troupe to be honored at a prestigious art venue like MOMA. I also wanted a chance to see hosts Justin Bond and Lady Miss Kier.
"Palace" gives what I believes is an accurate portrayal of the crazy spirit of the Cockettes, at least from the perspective an an urban legend. Shot in black and white with an unmatched soundtrack added, the film itself is representation of experimental, underground film making of the period. It showed backstage preparation, applying makeup, audience arriving, making costumes, a lot of nudity and drinking, and disjointed clips of the disjointed stage performance. It told no story, made no sense, but it was just fun to watch.
"Tricia's Wedding" was a popular short in the Midnight Movie circuit that poked fun at the real life event of Tricia Nixon's White House wedding. The copy we saw was beautifully restored in vivid color and perfect sound.
Years before Saturday Night Live made their mark lampooning celebrities in the news, "Tricia's Wedding", had drag queens impersonating all the political and cultural icons of the day that were (or were not) in attendance at the White House wedding. A highlight was soon-to-be disco diva Sylvester playing Coretta King singing a spiritual.
Shot in two days with no rehearsal and a vague concept of a script, if a similar version were created today it would get lost in the shuffle on YouTube and forgotten in a matter of weeks. That it survived 40 years to be honored at MOMA is a tribute to it groundbreaking uniqueness and audacity.
During the Q&A with the director, we discovered that "Tricia's Wedding" was actually secretly screened at the Nixon White House to determine if the FBI needed to further investigate the Cockettes for subversive or un-American activity.
"Elevator Girls In Bondage" is the feature length movie starring Rumi (below), the self-appointed archivist of the Cockettes and the driving force behind keeping the name alive. He's been touring the country hosting screenings and perpetuating the name. He was also instrumental in launching the stage revival of "Pearls Over Shanghai" here in San Francisco. I wrote about it months ago, and the production has continued it's open-ended run. With talented cast and actual rehearsals (imagine it!) the brilliance of the work can finally be appreciated. What a perfect way to spend your retirement years. Really.
Got any hog joints?
COCKETTES WIKIPEDIA - YOUTUBE ELEVATOR GIRLS - PEARLS OVER SHANGHAI
Halloween 2009
I went out for Halloween a couple times in 2009 and got some great pictures each time. This gallery is from Halloween Night. The theme of the party was Gods and Goddesses but I already had an outfit planned before I learned about the party. Since I was planning to wear a wedding dress (size 10, thank you very much!) I found out there is Celtic goddess named Brigit (The Bride) who is best known for having invented beer! That's the kind of god I'm willing to worship!
Just to give a little twist to the bride costume, I wore strap-on dildo underneath and it really got some great reactions! I have tons of photos of people sucking my dick, especially by people I wouldn't expect to do it! Several fantasies got fulfilled that night.
After two years of the Castro being a ghost town on Halloween, the crowds came back this year, but it felt very controlled due a very large police presence. Early in the evening I made one celebrity sighting, Ongina from Ru Paul's Drag Race was also in a wedding dress (where DID she get that idea!) and Jack Macinroth from Project Runway was escorting her in a tuxedo shirt with no sleeves.
HALLOWEEN 2009 - NON-MEMBER PREVIEW - VIP ONLY GALLERY - JOIN
Pre-Halloween Pumpkin Butt Painting
The Sisters hosted the Beer Bust at the Eagle yesterday and to get everyone in the Halloween spirit, we held a little pumpkin painting contest. But, to make a little more fun, we hand-selected a group of the cutest butts at the Eagle to have contestants draw pumpkins on naked butts! It was a smart move to hand-select rather than ask for volunteers. That way there was more quality control, and the result was some beautiful bare asses on stage, even before they got painted.
The wining ass belonged to a tall blond muscle boy with a perfectly round bubble butt. I got some shots of him from the front, too, and it was apparent he was getting a bit of a woody by standing on stage exposing his backside. There were also some young hairy mixed race alternative types in the contest, one husky bear cub and the surprise was an appearance by porn star daddy Nick Moretti.
If you want to see photos of just the nuns from the Butt Painting Contest, visit SisterZsaZsa.com (don't worry, its' FREE!), but the butt pictures AND video are only available to VIP Members of Lavender Lounge.
Halloween 2009 – Part One – Gay Men Have X-Ray Vision
I am titling this blog entry "Halloween 2009 Part One" because it's my long standing tradition to dress up for Halloween several times during the Halloween season and there will probably be lots more amazing pictures to come. With that in mind, I decided at the last minute to save my good costume for next week and pulled out an alternate outfit instead. (I actually have plenty of costumes on hand that have never been seen before. ) It was a purple and silver vinyl Judy Jetson mini dress with a spikey wig that was black on one side and silver on the other. I called it "An 80's Version of a 50's Sci Fi Movie".
Last night was a private party at Steve and Ed's house. They're two nice boys who happen to be witches and they invited their coven to celebrate All Hallows Eve (a week early). The plan was to start early and then march down to the Castro as a group, which was fun.
The boyfriend had been in Sister habit all day, then went home, washed it all off, then put on a completely different face for the evening. He went as the gay character from Mad Men, Salvator Romano, but did Sal as a zombie. (He loves being a zombie.)
Last year for Halloween I went as a 70's porn star and stuck a sock in my pants. It was pretty obvious it was a sock in my pants, and I even told people it was a sock in my pants. With that said, it still amazes me how shallow gay men are! I got groped and fondled more I ever have in my entire life - and it was a fake penis! So this year I decided to go all the way. I spent $80 on a leather harness to hold a strap-on dildo. The mini dress I wore flared out on it's own so you didn't even know there was a 9 inch hard cock underneath it, at least to the naked eye.
Part of my choice to wear a strap-on dildo under a dress was to conduct a social experiment. I have this theory that when it comes to big dicks, gay men have X-ray vision. Cock hounds can spot a big dick from across a crowded room, and if they are real size queens, it doesn't even matter what's attached to a big dick. The grossest looking guys with big dicks will always get more action than a cute guy with a small dick. I intend to prove my theory with this costume.
Sure enough, the first guy to notice me in costume crossing 18th and Castro said, "Hey, what's under that dress, baby?" My point was proven in the first five minutes, but it got better as the night went on. After a few drinks at the party, I introduced myself to the cutest guy there. Not only was he the cutest guy at the party, he also had a sexy French accent. In no time at all I had him sucking my rubber cock like a champ! To prove it was not a fluke, I let him do it a second time! I couldn't believe it! In normal circumstances, if I tried chatting up that hot French guy, he would have made small talk for just long enough to be polite and all the while looking over my shoulder for his chance to escape. But when you add a big dick to the mix, the whole situation changes.
Keep checking back to my blog at LavenderLounge.com for further updates on my experiment, but to see more pictures from Night One of Halloween 2009, become a VIP Member. But if you can't wait, go ahead and join ExtraBigDicks.com. That's all you really want anyway, you superficial cock hungry size queen bitch!
CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE: HALLOWEEN PHOTOS - EXTRA BIG DICKS
Beer Bust SF Eagle With Porn Stars
After re-launching Lavender Lounge two weeks ago, I am now in the process of going through all my photos from the last ten years to add them to the site. LavenderLounge.com (this site) will be primarily focused on my Paparazzi Pictures, with sections devoted to Streetfair Skin, Barhopping Bare and Porn Star Parties.
Besides adding them to the new slideshow software, I will also spend the time to hand-select each photo to eliminate duplicates, out of focus shots, or just simply cut down the volume to present only the best shots. Some photo sets on my hard drive somehow fell through the cracks and never made it to the site, some got lost in the last web site upgrade three years ago, and others just need to be edited a bit.
The latest gallery I added to the site was from January of 2005. It was one of those Sundays that was unseasonably warm where everyone came out of their winter hibernation and headed to the Eagle Beer Bust and got drunk and rowdy in shirt sleeves - in January! I had no problem getting guys to take their shirts off, either.
It was sponsored by MuscleBearCub.com and we also had appearances from gay porn stars Arpad Miklos, Michael Brandon and Dick Wolf. Michael Brandon, always the trouper, helped with the raffle, and never misses and occasion to air out the "Monster". It started out innocently enough as he hung a big dildo out of his fly, and it went downhill from there. But Michael Brandon was not the only one show his cock in public. As the Sisters went around measuring inseams to sell raffle tickets, plenty of guys took the opportunity to pull out their dick.
To see all the pubic nudity from the Beer Busts, join the Lavender Lounge VIP Room.
LAVENDER LOUNGE BEER BUST PHOTOS: CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE - JOIN
Corporal Punishment – Sisters’ Fundraiser
Friday night, Sister Mary Ralph held a fund raiser for her favorite charity, the AIDS Hospice at Laguna Honda Hospital. He worked with Anna Conda, our favorite club producer to do it at Charlie Horse at the Cinch.
Since the club is free admission, they needed to sell raffle tickets and Jello shots to raise money. They ended up bringing in $735! I guess people do love those Jello shots! Falcon Studios donated a prize package of 7 DVD's and Lavender Lounge donated DVDs of "Vintage Bareback: Hairy Muscle Daddy Collection".
I put a couple hundred pictures into a gallery at SisterZsaZsa.com, and don't worry, that site is FREE, so go ahead and click any one of the pictures to see the whole gallery.
Folsom Street Fair 2009
It gets harder and harder to shock me anymore, especially with things involving extreme sexuality, fetish wear, cross dressing, and artistic expression of an alternative nature. I've been to every Folsom Street Fair since it started, and I have been documenting it with photographs for the past several years. This year's Folsom Street Fair was pleasantly warm and sunny, with just a hint of crisp sunlight you only get in the fall - perfect for photos. The fact that the temperatures dropped so suddenly the very next day once again proves that god loves Folsom Fair!
When I go out to shoot photos at events like Folsom Street Fair, my intention is to search out the most beautiful men wearing the least amount of clothes. In most cases, the people who are the most naked are usually the ones who should put on more clothes. My customers are more likely to pay to see hot guys with their pants on over senior citizens with nothing on. I don't purposely seek out the freaks, but I try not to miss a Diane Arbus moment, either.
Men in drag? Been there, done that. Public flogging? Ho hum. Self-abuse with tattoos and multiple piercings? So 90's. Spent a whole paycheck on leather "gear" at Mr. S you'll only wear once? Wasteful consumerism. Putting together an anti-fashion statement? Fun, but it probably won't get you laid.
That pretty much sums up the extent of the edgy, alternative lifestyles represented at leather fairs like Folsom. But if you put a pasty, middle aged accountant in a harness and chaps, he's still a pasty middle aged accountant. I search out the men who are so perfectly handsome, virile, muscular and well endowed that it could only be due to genetic mutation they look go good. Freakishly beautiful rather than merely freakish. That's why porn stars are born, not made.
Despite my jadedness, I did visit a booth at Folsom Street Fair displaying products that would surely put the Christians into a talking-in-tongues tizzy. I gotta say, I've never seen this before and I don't quite know what to think about it. The booth was for a company called "Fetish Tots" and they made custom leather fetish gear for kids. Their slogan is "Kinky couture for little people." They had some little kid sized mannequins in baby blue and girly pink leather hoods, gas masks and of course, pacifier ball gags. (Well, if you think about it, a ball gag and a pacifier are basically the same thing, right? Whatever it takes to shut 'em up!)
I asked one of the guys in the booth,
"So, who buys this stuff?"
"Nobody yet. It's just prototypes and we haven't put them up for sale yet."
"What market are you aiming at?"
"Oh, we just make it and sell it. We don't really care what people do with it after they buy it."
I was afraid of that. I told some friends about Fetish Tots and they seem to think it's some sort of artistic statement, not a real business. Even if this particular group is just making a statement, some slimeballs will take the idea and actually sell it to people.
Parents of small children are the most gullible of all consumers. There are so many yuppies in this town carrying around designer babies as accessories just so they have an excuse to consume more overpriced stuff. Just a few short years ago all my Burning Man friends were wearing fetish gear and having lots of kinky sex, and guess what? They all have kids now and they're dying to dress up the little Baby Burners just like Mommy and Daddy!
I am going to pose this question to test your true lefty liberal backbone: If a parent dresses a toddler in fetish wear, is it consensual? Discuss.
FOLSOM STREET FAIR PHOTOS IN LAVENDER LOUNGE VIP ROOM
Vintage Tranny Porn
A few weeks ago I announced a big score I made on eBay of vintage gay porn magazines. Well, this latest score of only two mags could surpass that.
I wasn't in the market for vintage tranny porn per se, but the covers were so engaging, I sensed I should snap them up. They're fucking brilliant! Total 70's kitsch to the max. Gawd, where do I begin?
And the VMA Goes To…
"...and the MTV Video Music Award for Best Christian Girl Group Album goes to... the Faith Tones, 'Jesus Use Me'!" (crowd cheers) Wenda Watch has finally made it in the music business, but 40 years after the release of their hit album "Jesus Use Me".
See more fun at WendaWatch.com - can't wait to see her upcoming cookbook!
Bear Beauty Contest – Miss Grrrrl Pageant
If I had a nickel for every time I said, "...only in San Francisco...", well, I'd make about as much money as I earn from this damn blog. Last night's Chaser was worth one of those nickels.
La Monistat is a local gay club promoter working her butt off to bring weird, retarded, sexy fun events to nightlife in San Francisco. Her Tuesday night club is Chaser at the End Up and this week she decided to hold a bear beauty pageant for the title of "Miss Grrrl". Grrrr! She recruited Sister Tuna Noodle Cocktail to help MC, hooked up with a group of DJ's called Electronic Music Bears and promoted the hell out if it on Facebook. I got swept up into the hype, and since the joint is only across the street, I decided to venture over.
I ran into Sister Constance at the front door looking bewildered. Security wouldn't let him in with a bottle of poppers and he didn't want to just dump it, so he didn't know what to do. I offered to go around the corner, stuff it in my boot and come back to be frisked. Worked like a charm, but really, who uses poppers anymore?
At first I was going to describe it as a drunken mess, but really, it was just a mess. Monistat opened the show in a bear suit, Tuna (upper left above) did a number with Jesus. They had to interrupt oral sex backstage in order to get the contestants to come out. Half the contestants didn't show up or sat in the audience, so they didn't know who was in and who was out. When Constance came out for the Beach Wear portion, he asked, "Is this the Evening Wear portion? Oh, it's Beach Wear? Okay", and proceeded to strip naked.
During the short break to "cover the stage in a tarp" for the Talent Portion, Constance pleaded with them to let him go first. For his "talent" he stuck a chocolate bar up a boy's butt and it was starting to melt. By the time he got to is act, it was already too late, the chocolate had disintegrated.
Danyol (left) was excited to make his first drag appearance onstage, but when it came time for his number the DJ yelled from the booth, "Your disc is blank!" He tried to sing something A Capella, but forgot the second verse.
Moving on, another contestant couldn't think of any talent, so he tried popping balloons and when that flopped, he just pulled out his dick. Thanks.
At one point, Tuna had the microphone in one hand, a clipboard and a drink in the other. When Monistat asked, "Who's up next?", Tuna tilted the clipboard to read it and spilled his entire cocktail. The crowd roared.
Visa Decline (below) was the surprise guest performer and did something (not sure what) with a unicorn on a stick. Mmmm. Unicorn on a stick sounds delicious right now...
A big ole girly bear with a 7 day beard (top right) saved the day by singing a well-rehearsed live version of "Sweet Transvestite". She rocked the house belting out that evergreen crowd pleaser. I forgot her name, but she won the coveted title "Miss Grrrl" and went home with a sash and Burger King crown.
THIS is why I spend ridiculous amounts of money to live here.
Vintage Gay Porn Magazines
I've been buying so much vintage gay porn on eBay, it's getting a little out of hand. I now have a stack of old vintage porn magazines from the 1950's through the 1970's that stands 3 feet high! It's a very slow, laborious process to scan each page, so I will be enlisting the help of a couple unemployed friends to help me.
But I am so excited about sharing some of these treasures, I can't wait to get the whole magazine scanned before I debut them to my customers! I'm going to just tease you with the covers to give you a taste of what's coming.
The first is a magazine called "Drag Scene" with the tabloid-screaming headlines, "TRANSVESTITE: My first night as a drag in a cathouse", "Wild Nude Shemales", "How A TV Shops for a Mate", and "Transvestite Movie Review". The movie review in question is entitled "Transvestite Boudoir" and the first 8 pages of the magazine are devoted to it. The premise of the movie is a female leather dom ties up a hot stud with a mustache and "humiliates" him by dressing him up in drag, as seen on the cover. "The film touches all sexual bases and ends up with the beautiful sadist queen happy in doing her thing subjugating her male and he's happy having it done..." The 8mm movie itself was only available through the mail order form on page 59 of the magazine. It came in two parts at $35 each or both for $65, and each part was probably about 12 minutes with no sound. At the time this magazine came out, gas was about 25 cents a gallon. Compare that to porn movies today that cost about the same but give you a couple HOURS of porn entertainment!
Next is "Hang It Up", a photo essay featuring an erotic mural painted by an underground gay artist named Sean. The mural was commissioned by the Hollywood Spa in downtown LA, and is probably still on display there. The photos feature some really hot 70's clones having sex with the mural in every shot. The clothes are authentic 70's style, and so is the chocolate brown shag carpet!
"Joint Ventures" is an interesting time capsule from the early 1970's, with a feeble attempt to be "creative". The front cover shows a perfectly round bubble butt covered in blond fur with another guy's dick peaking out between the cheeks. Cute! There are also a couple other "creative" shots of dicks between armpits, and knick knacks in the foreground. But the main reason I love this magazine is if you look closely at this photo, you'll see a Disney poster in the background! Nobody in porn today is willing to go there!
Unlike the other magazines I am featuring today, "Double Stick" is one of the rare magazines of that era that showed penetration. At the time, obscenity laws were in flux, particularly anything as shocking as two men fucking, so pornographers often only showed dicks no closer than 2 or 3 inches from a mouth or an ass. The publisher of "Double Stick" threw caution to the wind and showed the skinny hairless twinks fucking raw, just as they courageously matched a brocade couch with patterned curtains and Persian rugs! Which is more obscene - the sex or the design?
And finally, I plan to take full advantage of the story-telling plot of "Young Boy Salesman". In it, a studly blond (that I recognize from other magazines) plays a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. He shows up in plaid bell bottom pants with 2 inch cuffs and a sexy knit shirt straight from Sears. The canister vac he was demonstrating wouldn't do shit on the checkerboard shag carpet, believe me. Good thing the salesman had his own sucking skills! As the salesman moves on to do "demonstrations" for other house-husbands, the players exchange shirts for each new scene, but the super-tight plaid bell bottoms remain on our hero, even as he fucks on a boldly patterned plaid couch. Clash of the titan plaids! It's also fun to look at the furniture and accessories in the background, which includes a coffee table completely covered in crystal figurines and framed wall hangings of rhinestone necklaces. It is vintage gay porn, right? Like I wrote earlier, I am scrambling to get these magazines scanned and running in the VIP Room asap, but it's a slow process. In the meantime, there are already 10,000 vintage gay porn images in the Lavender Lounge VIP Room, so go ahead and get your recurring membership NOW before prices go up.
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