Cringe-Worthy “Judas Kiss”

On the first delightfully warm evening of the season here in San Francisco, I spent it in a stuffy movie theater watching the equivalent of a gay-inspired After School Special. "Judas Kiss" was an overly hyped masturbatory vanity project that was 5 years in the making that finally made it to the screen at the Frameline LGBT Film Festival.

I give the producers credit for trying something original with a gay oriented fictional film, but like so many mainstream Hollywood films in the "how would my life change in an alternate universe?" genre, it falls flat. A bit of "Freaky Friday", "It's A Wonderful Life", and a million body-swap comedies coupled with the angst of young film makers with unrealistic career expectations, and you have "Judas Kiss".

The script had some minor laughs, but it was so formulaic, it seemed more like a rough draft full of "Insert Joke Here" that never got the final touches. At the Q&A following the movie, the crew seemed way too self-indulgent and self-congratulatory than seemed appropriate for the tepid product. They've totally bought into the whole "Glee" genre mixed with "Twilight" to the point of hiring the lead actor with decidedly Robert Pattison pout. Following the "Twilight" playbook, character motivations are murky, emotions are as subtle as a sledge hammer, and emphasis is placed on pretty boys reveling in their moodiness.

And then the "Gleeks" take over. During a very emotion filled monologue, the main character pours out his heart to the younger version of himself all while sitting at a piano fake-playing a piece of music way too complex to believably play while in the heat of conversation. WTF?

More evidence of the "Twilight of the Gleek" connection came when introducing former porn twink Brent Corrigan's character as the alternate love interest. Corrigan plays a film student "into making bloody movies", but not the creature-feature variety. The plot shows Corrigan directing a music video straight out of "Glee" featuring a tall blond twink as a singing and dancing vampire spraying blood instead of confetti or glitter. Glee goes to college.

But the nail in the "Twilight"-ripoff coffin came during the credits when the entire cast broke into a very "Glee-esque" un-memorable song. The pre-screening introduction hinted at a "very special surprise" during the credits, by the very proud producers. Ugh. Cringe turned to cramping by this point.

The producers were so effervescent during the Q&A, they kept grabbing the mic from each other to fawn over themselves. But when they handed the mic to the lead actor, hoping he would continue the giddy school girl excitement, he clearly thought of it as just another job, downplaying the seeming "harmonic convergence" the crew expressed in putting the film together. His reply was essentially, "Um, my agent gave me the script and I did it."

Believe it or not, the most natural and believable actor, despite some thudding dialogue was Brent Corrigan. Corrigan wanted to use his alternate real name Sean Paul Lockhart, but IMDB listed his porn name as did the producers when they introduced him on stage. (Trying to escape his porn past, but only half-heartedly?) Somehow, in all the congratulations, Corrigan never got to speak in the Q&A.

I certainly hope this "Twilight/Glee" convergence, together or separately, is NOT the wave of the future in film making.

SEE BRENT CORRIGAN DO WHAT HE DOES BEST